FAITH ENRICHMENT: If faith is important to the two of you then consider scripture’s stance on the importance of thoughts. Proverbs 23:7 provides an example: “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.” How does your faith inform the way you view your relationship? How does faith inform the way you view your partner? How do your thoughts about your partner influence your spiritual well-being?
When doing this module you will consider alternative explanations for negative behavior in your relationship. Here are some tips to help you retain perspective and grow closer to your partner:
- Keep an open mind. Close-mindedness begets further misunderstanding and negative thinking. Be open to new insight and a different perspective.
- Consider alternation rationales for your partner’s actions. They is more than one way to explain a person’s behavior. You may be surprised to find legitimacy in other rationales.
- Consider your partner’s point of view, needs and desires. Even when your partner does something inconsiderate, is there a need or personal desire that is being fulfilled? Can you empathize?
- Refrain from assuming. Assumptions will inherently limit your insight. Even if it appears to be true, conversation is essential.
- Focus on the positives. Identify the positive qualities of your partner and your relationship as a whole. This can be difficult when things have been difficult for a decent length of time. But barring that your partner is abusive or inherently mean spirited, there are likely positive qualities present that warrant your acknowledgement. Consider the reasons why you first began dating. Your reason for dating and your partner’s good qualities can serve as evidence against negative thoughts.
- If you or your partner is feeling discouraged, it is okay to take a break or consider alternative interventions. Each partner is challenged to consider their partner’s behavior in a different light, but this intervention is not intended to entice arguments or serious conflict.
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.”