All couples have differences and disagreements! It is totally normal to have arguments with your partner here and there. Happy couples do not avoid disagreements completely, but they strive to resolve them while remaining respectful of each other. The goal is to not allow your differences take a toll on your relationship and to learn how to “fight fair” without devaluing your partner.
When doing this module you are going to work through the LOVE conflict resolution worksheet. Here are some tips:
1. Don’t try to avoid all conflict. Don’t avoid all conflict at all costs and sweep everything under the rug. This is not the goal of conflict resolution exercises! The goal is to learn how to resolve conflict effectively, not pretend that it does not exist.
2. Focus on growth, not regrets. There may never be a time in your relationship when you no longer fight at all. All couples, even the happiest ones, have disagreements from time to time. And it’s also likely that you will slip into your old habits here and there. Don’t beat yourselves up! Focus on the growth that occurred in your communication and don’t let your regrets and disappointments get in a way of your growth.
3. Work together. Practicing LOVE on a regular basis will require each one of you to own up to your part in the conflict, because there are two of you in this relationship and chances are you both contributed to the issue at hand in some way. This step requires humility and openness to compromise. Once you are able to identify the interest behind each one of your positions, try to be as open minded and flexible as you can in order to find a solution that will satisfy both of your needs.
