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Consider these images:

Couples in conflict

Is it any wonder that there can be no resolution between the two?  Both are not in a position to receive any message offered by the other.  If one were to say, “Oh, Yeah?  Well I have a million dollars that I would like to give to you!…” The reply would probably—“all your checks bounce!” When we are in a defensive, self protective posture…there is no good to come of it.

 But…Think of grace—in marriage and in life. It puts us in a position to receive goodness. First from God.  Then from our spouses and from others.  

 Previously, we alluded to John Newton, author of Amazing Grace.  There is more to his story and his understanding of Grace. He was blind toward the end of his life.  Newton heard the text I Cor. 15:10: “By the grace of God — I am what I am.” 

 Poetry and wisdom roll off his tongue.  He said:

 I am not what I ought to be. Ah! how imperfect and deficient.

I am not what I might be, considering my privileges and opportunities.

I am not what I wish to be. God, who knows my heart — knows I wish to be like Him.

I am not what I hope to be. I will soon drop this clay tabernacle, to be like Him and see Him as He is!

Yet, I am not what I once was — a child of sin, and slave of the devil!

Though not all these — not what I ought to be, not what I might be, not what I wish or hope to be, and not what I once was — I think I can truly say with the apostle, “By the grace of God — I am what I am!”

 At the age of 82, Newton said, “My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things: that I am a great sinner — and that Christ is a great Savior!”

 John Newton’s tombstone reads: “John Newton, once an infidel and libertine, a servant of slaves in Africa, was, by the rich mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the faith he had long labored to destroy!”

Think about the power of the phrase on his epitaph: “by the rich mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the faith he had long labored to destroy”

 A gift from God turned the angry man into restored, pardoned and appointed man. He could have rejected it. Instead he allowed it to have its effect…lost but now found. Blind but now seeing.

Grace can have the same effect—or we can permit Grace to have the same effect in marriage—if we permit it.

 “By the grace of God I am what I am!” 1 Corinthians 15:10

 Think about those phrases in relationship to you and God:

 I am not what I ought to be. Ah! how imperfect and deficient.

I am not what I might be, considering my privileges and opportunities.

I am not what I wish to be. God, who knows my heart — knows I wish to be like Him.

I am not what I hope to be. I will drop this clay tabernacle, to be like Him and see Him as He is!

Yet, I am not what I once was — a child of sin, and slave of the devil!

Now talk about these ideas in relationship to one another…Keep the focus on you, and journal your answers.

I am not what I ought to be. . .            In what way?

I am not what I might be. . .               What might you be?

I am not what I wish to be. . .             What do you wish to become? 

I am not what I hope to be. . .             What is your hope 

Yet, I am not what I once was. . .       From where have you come?