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Imagine that the love you share and experience had monetary value. Whenever you feel really loved and happy, your “love bank” account is high. Whenever you feel unloved and down, your account is low.

four people on seashore

In this activity, you’re going to focus on the withdrawals or deposits into your love bank made by your partner and children. The positive things they do (deposits) increases the love in your love bank, while the negative things they do (withdrawals) decreases the love in your love bank.

Big deposits (think $100) are always nice and what we look forward to, but what about the small deposits (think $1)? Small deposits may not seem like much, but once they’ve build up and you’ve added them all together, they are just as valuable as those big deposits. Ever heard of the phrase “a penny saved is a penny earned”? The same applies for your love bank.

Similarly, big withdrawals are detrimental to our account, but so are small withdrawals. If you bought a cup of coffee from Starbucks each weekday for the whole month, at the end of the month you’d have a pretty big withdrawal from Starbucks alone. In your love bank, even small withdrawals each day have a huge impact on the love you experience.

Some examples of big deposits might be your partner pampering you all day or your child cleaning the entire house. Small deposits might include your partner saying “I love you,” or your child following directions the first time you said something.

Some examples of big withdrawals might be your partner cheating on you or your child having a tantrum in the middle of church. Small withdrawals might include your partner not helping with the dishes or your child ignoring you when you’ve called his name.

It’s easy to pay attention to the big withdrawals and even the small withdrawals. Naturally, we are drawn to recognize the negative in lives. It’s tougher to focus and recognize the positives in life, especially the small things we often take for granted or expect of others.

This week we want you to focus on the positives, big and small. Choose three days from this week and record three deposits made from each day. You will do this from both your partner and your children. After the third day, take some time to reflect on this week’s intervention. You might be surprised how many deposits were made into your love bank that you overlooked or were not aware of.